Scribit Veritas

Protecting the Child, Preserving the Family, and Honoring Life

Teaching Children to Listen, Admire & Reason

child-with-puzzle-piece

While parents strive for their children to gain knowledge, it is important to consider that teaching them through example is the best way to learn. The three key points in developing a child’s intellect include:

1. Listening

Listening shows respect for the person that is talking. At a young age, children learn to listen through listening to bedtime stories. Comprehension questions about what they have read shows they were paying attention.  When you give instructions as a parent, you might ask the child to repeat back what you have said. Not only does this prove whether or not the child was listening; but it also shows respect. Also, confirm that your child understands what is being said to or asked of them. Asking the child whether or not they understand what they heard is essential. Children can also practice listening skills by listening to music. When children practice listening to song lyrics like The Wheels on the Bus or 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, they begin to understand that words have meaning. At first, the words to the song may seem arbitrary to the child; but eventually the child comes to understand that the words to the song tell a story. 

2. Admiration

How can a child admire the world around them and the talents of others? By showing children the many talents, works, and beauty of the earth, it teaches them to stop and pause. It makes a child think and appreciate the good things in life. If you take a child to an art museum, what they see in the painting might be different from what you see.  A child might admire a teacher because of the knowledge they receive. A child might admire a parent because the lessons, experiences, and memories that were shown to them.  Children learn the beauty of the earth, if they are shown the beauty of their surroundings, this could be the animals, the mountains, the ocean, and the stars. Over time, children can begin to appreciate things in their lives. For example, your child may appreciate a certain song for its calming effects, or even music in general for the effect it can have on your child’s mood. It is a sense of wonder and mystery to admire through a child’s eyes.

3. Reason

When it comes to reason, children should know the truth. Television does not always show the truth, which can give them a false reality of things. However quality television shows that promote learning and reason are encouraged.  It is important to point out the truth if a lie is shown in the media. Logical thinking can be shown through proper grammar for example.  Give them a reason for why a decision may hurt someone. All of these teach children to think. Keep the child’s age in mind with reasoning. When you show children by example, that is when they are learning.

 

 

 


Image source: http://all.theglobalpoint.com/2014/11/how-to-improve-childrens-perceptual-reasoning/

*The 3 key points discussed above were originally mentioned in the following article:

http://sspx.org/en/news-events/news/developing-childrens-intellect

 

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Backwards Parenting

childrens-rights

Many spouses talk about what they want their baby to be like when they find out they are expecting. My husband and I did. We talked about how we would like to have a boy first. We even discussed how cute it would be if he had dark hair. But when we ended up having a daughter with light hair and my husband’s features, we couldn’t have imagined a more perfect child. Most parents experience the same feelings when seeing their babies for the first time.

Unfortunately, in our world of modern technology and medicine, many parents now have the ability to special order babies and choose the features they want their children to have, and they are taking advantage of that. A prime example comes from the story of Melissa Cook who chose to be a surrogate for a 50-year-old man. The man chose to have three male embryos implanted but when all three embryos successfully developed, the man wanted one to be aborted because he didn’t want three children (read the full article here). This story is a sad example of the idea that children are there for parents rather than parents for children.  So many children around the world are left unloved and uncared for because they don’t fit the description of a perfect child.

  • Demographers estimate that 126 million women are missing due to gendercide (also called femicide). That is as many deaths as WWI, WWII, and AIDS combined.
  • Every year, we lose 2 million baby girls to sex-selective abortion and infanticide. That’s 4 girls per minute.
    http://gendap.org/faq.html
  • In the UK alone, every 10 days, a child is killed by his mom or dad

Noting that it is no coincidence that children are unhappiest in countries such as Britain where the “pursuit of individual success and material goods are paramount, and where child poverty levels remain high,” in 2009 the Archbishop of Wales, Dr Barry Morgan said the following:

“Traditional beliefs have been weakened over recent decades and excessive individualism has filled the void.

The quest for personal success and personal happiness is too often gained at the expense of others.”

Dr. Morgan highlighted the findings of the Good Childhood Inquiry, published earlier this year, which concluded that the root cause of children’s problems was Britain’s “me-first” culture. He goes on to say,

“We may all know the real needs of children, but we frequently refuse to recognise that these often come at a personal cost to ourselves and our own needs and desires – be they compromises in our earning capacity or career development, or commitment to and the need to work at a less than ideal relationship…we need a huge change in our thinking. Parenthood should not be embarked on lightly. It is the commitment of two people both to one another and to the child.”

Though having a child can help make someone’s life more fulfilling and full of savor, it’s important for us as parents to remember: our children aren’t here to give us self-gratification.

We, the parents, are here for our children to love, serve, and teach them.

Our society, as well as others around the world, could learn a thing or two about what it takes to be a parent from Dr. Morgan. Policy makers and child healthcare professionals owe it to society to help “teach young people that parenthood is an awesome responsibility that requires both love and self sacrifice from parents committed to the child and to one another.” It’s true that we need to be teaching “these basic concepts as well as parent-craft, in our schools from an early age, particularly to those who have not experienced it first hand, and not simply informing them about the mechanics of a sexual relationship and contraception divorced from the basic concepts of love, responsibility and self-respect.”


For more information

The Roles, Responsibilities and Rights of Parents

http://gendap.org/faq.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/5194049/Archbishop-of-Wales-Children-suffer-because-selfish-parents-wont-change-their-lifestyles.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/one-child-in-britain-is-killed-like-baby-peter-every-week-1740220.html

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Personal and Family Goal-Setting

personal-family-goal-setting

With the start of each new year, many people contemplate the goals they want to accomplish. A journal is a great place to write down our goals. There are several different areas in your life in which setting goals would be beneficial to you and your family. Some examples include

  • Education
  • Career
  • Financial
  • Family
  • Attitude
  • Physical
  • Service

Sometimes goals can be stressful or we don’t think we will complete them. If we take it one day at a time we can complete them, we have to also work on them. Education goals could be finishing up school, or starting college. For one of your children, an education goal might be to raise his or her grade point average. Career could mean you want to get promoted, so you could see what you could do to earn that. Switching jobs also might be an option. Financial goals might be to pay off your debt in a certain amount of time, or create an emergency savings account. Psychology today says, “Research shows that actually setting a specific goal makes us more likely to achieve the things we want, and is important especially when we want to make a change.”

Family goals can be things you want for your family to achieve with each member having the opportunity to contribute. The ACPeds Lead Your Family to Good Health page is a good place to start looking for family health goals you may want your family to to beging working on. Examples include

  • Strengthen your family by nurturing your marriage. Invest TIME with your spouse: dates, walks/strolls, talk time, etc. Your child will benefit.
  • Teach good sleep habits by having a regular bedtime routine with a reasonable “lights out” time. No TV in the bedroom, please!
  • Teach and practice healthful family eating habits. Limit fast food. Serve vegetables and fruit at meals and snacks daily. Model healthful eating yourself.
  • Turn the television off often and limit total screen time (TV, video games, computer) to no more than 1-2 hours per day. You’ll be pleased with the conversations that develop.
  • Get outside with your child. Take a walk in the neighborhood, go fishing, go cycling, play a recreational sport, plant a garden . . .
  • Be involved in your child’s life. Coach a team, drive car pool, be a room mom or dad, teach Sunday School, get to know his/her friends . . .
  • Protect your child’s mind. Monitor TV programs, scrutinize movies (even at a friend’s home), and place an Internet filter on your computer.

Attitude goals can include trying not to get upset or angry at your family or  finding more ways you can be nice to your family. If your family does not serve you, you can choose to always be the one to be nice and serve them. This could be making their bed, or doing something to help them out. Physical goals could be to see a specialist to treat your acne, lose weight, get a gym membership, eating healthy, and taking better care of your health. Research shows that having a positive atttitude can have a positive affect on goal achievement.

When it comes to goals, as well as other pursuits in life, we need to have a positive attitude. Aim to always acknowledge the positive sides of things. 

Service goals can be helping your family or those in your community. You can choose to serve others year round. This can also benefit your mood. Writing down how you feel after serving is a great way to see how you made a difference in the community for that year. It is also important to take care of your mental health so consider making mental health goals that can help you better yourself and your family.

Goals are great for the new year, and discussing goals with your spouse and children is a great way to bond.

Be sure to write them down and refer back to when necessary. It’s important that you and your children work toward goals together whenever possible. Not only will it build character and resilience in your children, but the relationships within the family–between spouses, between siblings, and between parent and child–will also grow closer as a result. 


For more information: https://www.mindtools.com/page6.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/positive-thinking_b_3512202.html

Developing the Right Attitude to Support Goal Achievement

http://www.achieve-goal-setting-success.com/family-goals.html

Image source: http://www.kellygarsia.com/goal-setting-secrets/

 

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