Part 2 of the post “10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting” based on Laurence Steinberg’s book with the same title. Here are principles three and four with their major concepts.
3. Be involved in your child’s life. “Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs you to do. Be there mentally as well as physically.”
- Quality time isn’t about what you are doing with your child but occurs when you (the parent) are fully there with your child. Quality time occurs when you are really engaged with them.
- Strive to develop an interest in what your child likes to do. As a result, you will spend more time with your child and increase bonding with him.
- Be involved in your child’s schooling over the course of their education. Connecting to them in this way shows that education is important to you and will be to the child as well.
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. “Make sure your parenting keeps pace with your child’s development. You may wish you could slow down or freeze-frame your child’s life, but this is the last thing he wants. You may be fighting getting older, but all he wants is to grow up. The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say ‘no’ all the time is what’s motivating him to be toilet trained. The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table.”
- Children are born with different temperaments or unique personalities. Since temperament influences the way a child will respond to anything and everything, you need to modify your parenting to fit your child’s individual temperament.
- Every child is unique. Siblings have different talents, interests, and goals. You should alter your parenting practices to fit the specific needs of the child no matter how successful your former practices were with your other children.
- Remember to be patient when your children are going through developmental transitions and times of rapid growth (physical and psychological).
- Learn to accept that your role as a parent will change as your child gets older. Framing these changes in a positive light will make these transitions easier for you and help you see their importance for your child.
For more information see:
Steinberg, L. D. (2005). The ten basic principles of good parenting New York : Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2005, c2004; 1st Simon & Schuster Paperbacks ed.