I have been in enough fender-benders to earn the moniker “crash dummy” from my family. One of these fender benders occurred when I hit a parked car in an office complex. I dutifully sought out and found the owner of the red sports car that I had damaged.
Unbeknownst to me, her fine looking automobile had been retrieved from the body shop five days earlier. When the owner saw the damage I created and saw that my old clunker was not damaged in the least, she was livid. She informed me in a loud voice what a horrible person I was. She could not believe that I was treating her this way!
My response was to speak softly and apologize. For a period of time, she would yell loudly and I would apologize softly. Finally, her anger was spent and she asked me in a normal voice “are you a psychiatrist?” She could not believe my lack of reaction to her anger and thought it must have been due to some special training.
I am not a psychiatrist. I do know that a fire that does not receive fuel will die out and that an angry person who is met with calmness will eventually lose their anger. Choose carefully how you respond to anger directed your way – diffusing that anger is often a better choice than fueling it.