How Chores Can Strengthen Family Relationships

Everyone has complained about chores at some point throughout their life. Usually, children will even ask in a complaining tone, “What is the point of chores? It’s just going to get messy again!” As a parent, you have probably responded saying that it helps teach them responsibility, how to take care of themselves, and that living under your roof means they have to help keep it clean. All of these things are great, but another thing that chores are good for is strengthening family relationships.

Families who engage in chores together and make it a family event can reap many benefits. Doing chores together can create a sense of belonging, provide practice for working together as a team, and can lighten the workload which usually puts everyone in a happier mood. 

Of course, these benefits are usually more quickly received when the chores are done with the right attitude. “Children learn through example and play. A parent with a positive attitude toward household responsibilities will have children who are very likely to share the same positive attitude. Remember, attitudes are “caught,” not “taught” (Illinois, 2016). This positivity is crucial if the goal is to strengthen family relationships. 

It has also been found that when people go through unpleasant situations together, they feel more bonded and connected. Research suggests that these painful experiences can act as a “social glue” and have positive social outcomes. “Our findings show that pain is a particularly powerful ingredient in producing bonding and cooperation between those who share painful experiences,” says psychological scientist and lead researcher Brock Bastian of the University of New South Wales in Australia.

While chores might not be anyone’s favorite thing to do, there can be so many benefits when done together. Families can feel more connected and their bonds strengthened when they do unpleasant things together, especially when they are done with positivity. If you haven’t done so already, start doing some chores together as a family. After a while, something that the whole family dreaded can now be something that the family looks forward to doing together! 

 

References

Amici, K., Amici, K., & Kimberly. (2016, January 27). The Family That Works Together. Retrieved from https://www.faithgateway.com/family-that-works-together/.

(n.d.). Retrieved from https://web.extension.illinois.edu/familyworks/time-04.html.

Shared Pain Brings People Together. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/shared-pain-brings-people-together.html.

 

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6 Responses to “How Chores Can Strengthen Family Relationships”

  1. Mike January 20, 2020 at 12:08 pm #

    I always find it easier to just do a particular chore myself (I can ALWAYS do it better than my kids)…but, as a father, I try to keep in mind how important it is for them to learn such responsibilities. One of the many sacrifices we make for our kids 😉

  2. Quentin Van Meter January 20, 2020 at 1:20 pm #

    Amen to this! My adult children will attest to the fact that chores done together were both tolerable and provided a strong positive message about family commitment. They tend to inflate the extent of the work they put in and the frequency with which the chores needed attention as they recall those memories!

  3. Michelle Cretella January 20, 2020 at 3:19 pm #

    This is so very true! Thank you, team!

  4. admin3 January 20, 2020 at 3:35 pm #

    Chores are important for children so they can feel like an integral part of the family. I wish that I had learned that earlier than I did. It was so much easier to ‘do it myself’ than to be patient and take the time to help my daughter learn important tasks for living. Investing time and energy when children are young saves a great deal of time and energy later.

  5. Randolph Matthews January 21, 2020 at 9:26 am #

    Mom was RIGHT. So many kids have such an entitlement attitude that they don’t expect to do chores. They expect parents to do everything for them. Then when they are on their own they expect the government to do everything for them. Working together to benefit the family induces a sense of comradery.

  6. Shaun Hunter January 22, 2020 at 2:06 pm #

    This is a great article! In my family, having the children involved helps them feel that they have a particular role in the family. It provides structure and allows them to express themselves while doing their chores. It can be unconventional from the way my wife and I do the chore, but it helps in their development and sense of belonging.

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